start_again: (sif12)
Siffrin ([personal profile] start_again) wrote2024-06-14 10:15 pm
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psl

[It's all over. And yet not, because they're going to continue traveling together. One thing ends and another begins and the world hasn't ended.

But however final that conversation with the Head Housemaiden had felt, it turns out that beginning and end are a lot less distinct than anticipated. It's not like they were gonna immediately take off on a new journey, after all. Especially not when the whole of Dormont is eager to celebrate with their heroes.

The End Of The World party has become a The World Didn't End party, as promised, and the shift in theme only seems to have amped up the energy of the festivities. Which is fair enough. Mirabelle, the Chosen One, has been mobbed nonstop by both grateful townsfolk and friends from the House, and she looks happy enough to see everyone safe and movie that a rescue isn't even warranted. Odile looks genuinely happy, deep in conversation with the librarian from the House. And it looks like Bonnie is making friends with some of the local kids, or at least enjoying the awe as they regale them with stories of their adventure.

It's good. Everyone is happy and full of life. It's just kind of...overwhelming? Siffrin wasn't exactly big on crowds even before the timelooping business, and it's been so long with just the same few faces repeating the same lines that this is all A Lot. Their general air of quiet mystery and exhaustion has kept most people from doing more than offering their thanks in passing, but Siffrin still feels drained regardless. It's so loud.

But he couldn't spoil the fun for everyone else. They deserve it after saving the whole country, and especially after dealing with all his nonsense. So he quietly slips away while they're all otherwise occupied. He doesn't intend to go far – the idea of not having his family nearby spikes anxious tightness in his chest, and he doubts that's gonna go away anytime soon – but just...around back of one of the buildings should be fine, right? He can peek around the side periodically to reassure himself with a glimpse of everyone. He just needs a wall to muffle the festivities somewhat.]
changecraft: (pic#16862829)

[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-09 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
[He can see how he gets their nerves all riled up again and while he gets how awkward this is, he can't exactly feel bad about it. Siffrin was the one who brought this up in the first place! And it was smart of them. Isabeau will help carry this conversation to the finish line, even if they both have to hobble there.]

That's an easy out and we both know it. There was a reason you brought it up in the first place, right?

[He nudges his arm against theirs in the friendliest of jostles.]

So, talk to me. Tell me what you were worried about. And we can figure out something that'll at least let you be comfortable for tonight.
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[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-10 02:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[So, Siffrin is worried about his own personal comfort... and, maybe not so sure about how things will proceed from here? Their feelings are a bit at odds. Love is there, but theirs isn't as deep as his, and it sounds like that's causing some mental friction. It makes sense. Isabeau hasn't been too sure how to proceed either. They just had a talk about touch that cleared some things up, but where does that leave the two of them between Siffrin's passive "give me some time" and Siffrin's equally forward "maybe we should"?]

I mean, yeah, I'm gonna feel differently about everything we do. [He folds his arms across his chest, leaning a little closer just from the shift in positions.] See, this is a little bit of what I meant with the whole "sledgehammer to the friendship" thing.

[They can't just carry on with everything being exactly the same. It's impossible to go back to that. They can only try to rebuild it, and the pieces will never fit together quite like they used to.]

You're gonna lay down next to me tonight knowing that it'd mean the world to me if you cuddled up in my arms and fell asleep there.

[He's already told Siffrin the hardest part, in his mind. It's easier to let the rest of the details spill out. Almost so much of a relief that he can't help himself.]

And I'm gonna have to be okay with the level of touch you'd rather have, because forcing anything further than that would make me a really awful person?
changecraft: (pic#16869979)

[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-11 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
[See, see, he has no idea how the whole world doesn't love Siffrin as much as he does. Look at the way they try to hide in their collar! Look at that barely hidden shy expression, sputtering that's suggestive of being halfway to a heart attack but like, not in a negative way? They're so shy! And he just wants to wrap them up in himself and promise everything will be okay.

But saying that would be weird, and maybe a little patronizing, so he just smiles like they're his whole world instead. Which is. His usual smile, when he looks at them.]


Oh? Oh! Can we? [The instinctive urge to shout "yay!" really loud is just barely held back, by way of him reaching up to physically squeeze his own arm. Ow! It works though!] Okay! Okay, we'll try it.

[He releases his arm and dials his happiness back a tad, to add on a portion that will hopefully provide them both with a bit of guidance through this.] And, if you wanna stop, just tap my shoulder and scootch on out of my arms, and I promise you won't hurt my feelings.
changecraft: (pic#17202489)

[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-15 05:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[His imagination is very much in the throes of running wild with this. Trying to have normal thoughts and not completely unrealistic ones about shared smiles and soft looks and kisses in hair is like trying to hold back water in an overflowing dam. This water has been pooling for most of their journey! It's already full to bursting! It's going to explode.]

Ha! Yeah, it pretty much is.

[Siffrin's expectations for cuddling help snuff out the fuse, a gentle reminder that reality is much slower than all that. Less rushing river and more steady creek. And as Siffrin tucks their hand into his, that sort of feels like his "cue" to wrap things up.]

That's tonight figured out. [He threads his fingers through his, palm pressed to leather, and shoots him an apologetic smile. Sorry. This'll be quick.] I know this doesn't perfectly resolve any of the stuff that you and I are worried about.

[His head isn't so far up in the clouds that he immediately forgot the conversation that lead up to this.]

Is it okay to figure it out as we go?
changecraft: (pic#16877509)

[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-15 07:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[Isabeau knows how this routine goes by now.  Only three beds.  M'dame Odile gets her own.  Bonnie, who usually shares with Mirabelle, gets to sprawl in perfect comfort over their mattress, blankets and pillows all for them.  Which leaves the last for him and Sif.  The usual!  He gets the left side!  He has to remind them for the umpteenth time not to hog the covers, and they're probably gonna do it anyway!

Him... and Sif.  Who knows that he loves them.  Who just a short walk ago expressed at least a mild interest in snuggling.  Who, since then... has spent the entire time at the clock tower avoiding even looking at the bed.

Isabeau really should know better than to read too much into it.  Yeah, Sif said earlier that they're exhausted.  Yeah, they're still dealing with the after effects of craft overuse and could probably drop at any second, are so looking forward to true rest that they could sleep on a bed of glass.  B-but.  Sif is also a night owl!  Prone to staying up into the wee hours of the morning and sleeping until noon unless roused!  Surely it's that, and not that he'd somehow made a misstep with them between the conversation behind the boulangerie and now.  Right?

...Isabeau drags a mental comb over their last conversation, picking through it for ways he could have been too pushy or too expectant.  Did he agree too readily when Siffrin said they could try cuddling?  Crab, maybe that was it?  Or, Change, it could even be that he changed into his pajamas before bed.  Is cuddling no longer on the menu now that he's in a tank top, and they just don't know how to say it?  Or maybe it's nothing, and all this worrying will be the thing that does them both in today.  Urgh.  And how will he even ask about it?  Both Odile and Bonnie have already passed out, and there will be hell to pay if he wakes either of them after the day everyone has had.

The lights have dimmed, and Isabeau is lightly dozing in the stew of his own worries by the time he feels the mattress shift to his right, creaking under the weight of his bed buddy shifting under the covers with him.  He stirs with a short but sudden intake of breath, a small jolt that relents to sleepy contentment as he turns to face them.  For all that he stresses over things, Siffrin is still something of a stabilizer for him (at least, when they aren't both getting into trouble On Purpose).]


Hey, there you are.

[...Ah.  No barriers eh, self?  He's just gonna straight up let them know he's been waiting for them this whole time?  Cool.  Cool.  Can't take it back now. Managed to whisper, so that's a point in his favor.]

Something bugging you?

[He can at least do them the kindness of not assuming it must have something to do with him.]
changecraft: (pic#16864163)

[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-15 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[Hope lights his features, a softer look and the disappearance of those stress lines around his eyes, as they direct a smile his way. It's that wry grin of theirs that he's always found particularly charming, as flitting fingers direct his attention toward their sleeping companions. It dawns as they reassure him- of course! Siffrin was just worried about being super embarrassing in front of all their friends. Isabeau's face crinkles as he grins back, just barely withholding a huff of laughter.]

Fair enough.

[Cute, too. Isabeau supposes... he'd never considered it. He was always careful not to talk about his feelings for Siffrin around Mirabelle (respectfully, she never seemed to like the concept of romance outside of fiction), but Odile basically already has all the details, and... it's kind of impossible to not be embarrassing around preteens, so Bonnie almost doesn't count? As someone to avoid? He can make a mental note to be more subtle for Siffrin's sake, though. Easy peasy.

Nerves adequately soothed, he opens his arms for them as they scoot closer, guiding them to rest against him in a way that won't squish his arm under them (he's a big guy, this is just the position he has the most practice with). He's maybe a little precious about it. He really wants to make sure they're not awkwardly laying around a big arm, or pressed so close they can't breathe, etc etc. And as he drapes his arm over them, pulling the sheets and blankets up with him, he checks in.]


Comfy?
changecraft: (pic#16870026)

[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-16 06:55 am (UTC)(link)
[That stutter gives him pause, worried eyes flicking back to theirs for signs of discomfort, but their gaze is fatigue and questions and nothing more. Right. Okay. Siffrin isn't used to regular touch, so something as intimate as this has got to be a little... Weird isn't the right word for it, but new doesn't quite cover the same ground. Somewhere in between weird and new is the space he ought to give them to suss out their own feelings on this whole cuddling thing. He's trying to keep in mind how Siffrin asked him to handle things like this earlier. So... he waits. Rests his arm further against them as their tension ebbs, and feels his heart sigh as they nestle in with him, finding contentment at their own pace.

Having an arm settle around his waist in turn is his own sign to relax, and Isabeau sinks so thoroughly into Siffrin's warmth, and the bed, that he's liable to fall through it, despite that being physically impossible. He's so happy, he could surely find a way. He's so happy, it's a good thing he's also completely drained of energy by this point, or he might be too giddy to fall asleep.]


Sure. Would be easy enough to move you.

[His mumble of a reply is placid warmth, whispered close enough that he can see the way his breath flutters through their bangs. Lashes lower in thought, and he gradually lifts his hand from Siffrin's back, reaching up to brush those bangs aside, tucking bright hair behind his ear. He's so pretty. Isabeau won't say that. He won't kiss their forehead like he wants to either, opting to stare for just a moment, perhaps a bit too longingly, before returning his hand to their back.]

You can sleep as late as you want. I think we all will.
changecraft: (pic#16869978)

[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-16 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[It doesn't matter how tempered his voice is. Wordplay is Isabeau's light and life, and the moments in which Siffrin deigns to grace his world with their particular brand of whimsical wit will always be the highlight of his day. This one was so easy. Low hanging fruit. But the easy ones are the best ones, because people can see them coming! They can tell you to stop! And then you don't, and their complaining is all the louder for it. Won't ever get old, for him.

He still has to quickly turn his head, squeezing Sif tighter on instinct as he buries his laughter into his pillow. For all that he loves their bad jokes, that one was dropped cold, no build up, and he only has so much time to muffle the noise that threatened to burst forth. The poor mattress beneath them absorbs it, mildly jostled by his mirth.]


Siiiif, you gotta warn a guy first before you do that.

[He lifts his head a bit, taking a quick scan of the room. If he concentrates, he can hear Bonnie snoring away in their bed. Odile is quieter and prone to staying still the whole night, but she doesn't look like she's awake...]

...Think we're safe.

[He sinks back down, to the pressure of a face burying itself in his shoulder and warmth curling ever closer to him. Their place to hide, should they so choose. He really... didn't think he'd get even this much. Hopefully, Siffrin won't mind the way he still stops to marvel at every new interaction, every centimeter of further closeness, like they're each their own tiny little miracle. He tips his head to meet them, daring to take that chance to nuzzle his cheek into their hair. It is exactly as fluffy and unkempt as it has always looked. Comfy...]
changecraft: (pic#16869979)

[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-17 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[He snorts, with apologies to the hair he just buried his nose in. Sif is right. There isn't any fun in warning a guy first, and yet! Please, o' magnanimous rogue. A dollop of empathy for his poor, tired companions? Before they're forced to endure any number of (possibly spicy) pranks in retaliation? Then again. After a day like today, maybe a good prank is something they all could use. Isabeau certainly feels like he might be getting pranked when Siffrin follows up with a request that offers to fulfill one of his deepest, darkest desires.

...Okay that's putting it a little dramatically, but. Isabeau still gasps real loud, immediately tenses up from how loud that was, and waits an excruciating ten seconds in silence to make sure his big mouth didn't commit any cardinal sins. Mutual destruction seemingly averted, he lets out a very slow, very silent whoosh of breath.]


I would love that.

[He could wax poetic about how much he'd love that, but he's honestly not much of a poet. What he is, is one half of the party's resident skin and hair care duo, so Siffrin has absolutely come to the right place in their search to "tress for success." Now with a mission in mind, the way Isabeau trails his fingers through their hair is much more purposeful this time, nails tracing across their scalp and fingers dancing out of the way of formed knots as he feels and observes.]

Mhm, I think I know exactly what your hair needs. A little TLC and we could really get your hair to glow.
changecraft: (pic#16871043)

[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-18 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
[Siffrin tries to assure him that they aren't expecting a full hair care routine, but the idea is frankly appalling to Isabeau.  No, no, he won't be giving him anything less than his absolute best.  This is about his pride in his work just as much as it is his love for them.]

What?  Of course I have to go crazy.  I've been wanting to go crazy on your hair for months.  But saying so would have been really crabbing rude of me, so I've been waiting.  For either an opportunity, or an invitation.

[It has all the right characteristics to be sooooo fluffy and soooooooooooooo luxurious.  Like there aren't enough vowels in the alphabet to properly convey just how so those things it could be.  But Sif is the roll out of bed type!  Give it a quick few swipes of a brush and they're good to go!  It has been equal parts adorable and infuriating to watch during their journey.  He and Mira might have privately commiserated over it once.  Which... makes Siffrin's followup both perfectly understandable, and also incredibly embarrassing.]

I... I did?

[He seemed jealous?  That's so pathetic yet so instantly believable, that he can't do much more other than flush bright and curl in on himself, burying fresh embarrassment into the darkless hair his hands just abandoned.  Mira beat him to the punch of asking Sif about combing their hair?  Got to straighten out all those knots and errant flyaways, in a way that was probably very relaxing and comforting and pleasant?  Change.  Of course he got jealous.  Of course it was so obvious that even Siffrin noticed.  He's not exactly a subtle guy!  Never has been!  He muffles a quiet groan into his hair and braces himself.]

Give it to me straight, Sif.  How bad was it?

[The jealousy, not the hair combing.  That was probably super nice and he almost doesn't want to know, because he.  He... is just maybe a little bit of the jealous type.  Even though he really tries his best not to be.]
changecraft: (pic#16869980)

[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-18 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
[He lets out a little sigh, something between further embarrassed whining and acceptance of his defeat.]

A little. [He would certainly have been spared the worst in the moment, if Sif didn't realize it. But... most likely, he was very obvious to the rest of their friends. A shame his past-timeloop-self will never live down.] And, I guess, if you're laughing about it now, then it couldn't have been too bad for you at the time.

[Or so he hopes. He gives himself more than half a second to ruminate on that one.]

...It wasn't, right? I'm sorry if it actually was super awkward and awful for you once you realized.
changecraft: (pic#16871028)

[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-18 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
As long as you're sure...

[The conversation lapses and Isabeau is content to let it. Is about to suggest that, perhaps, if Sif likes what he does with their hair tomorrow, maybe he could do that for them more than once? But he feels a tug on his stomach, gaze drifting to find fingers fidgeting with his night shirt, and the sight gives him pause. Out of fondness mostly, but consideration, too. He's noticed that Sif does this when they're thinking, or overthinking. Fussing with their gloves, their cloak, pinching and rubbing fabric between fingers. It's kinda nice that he can add his shirt to that list. Like they're a little bit more comfortable with him.]

Spoilers? I guess I can see what she means, but...

[Nah. Couldn't be him. Not only is the curiosity eating him alive, he couldn't stand to leave Siffrin alone with what they went through. He doesn't just want to empathize with what being trapped in time was like; he wants to understand it.]

I want you to tell me everything.

[Every detail that Siffrin can remember, and even the details he only half remembers. Isabeau couldn't be there to walk that journey with Sif hand in hand, so he'll be their confidant in the aftermath, however messy that ends up being. He doesn't want anything less.]
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[personal profile] changecraft 2024-07-19 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
[Aww, there's that sweet little smile of theirs! His heart feels all the lighter for having seen it, like it's truly been ages since such an expression last graced Siffrin's features. He sweeps them back in as they duck down, fingers idly fanning out against their back as he listens.]

There was time for all that?

[He doesn't ask like he doubts it. It's more the surprise that's hitting him, slowly realizing that those conversations must have spanned loops, because the space between two of the exact same days isn't enough time to say all that. Not when there's a House to climb and a King to fight. The mystery deepens... he nudges his face back into their hair, resting his cheek atop their head.]

How much did I tell you? I've been trying to find a way to talk to you about Changing for ages, but the timing was never...

[It was never perfect. He's always been waiting for perfect, content to let "good enough" slip by so many times. But Siffrin knows that much, doesn't he?]

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THEIR DYNAMAXING,

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NO IT'S PERFECT

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